Suppose if I ask you, Hey mate according to your point of view what’s a toxic relationship? I am very sure that almost 95% of people will provide the same justification. That is, a toxic relationship is something that affects you both mentally and physically. A toxic relationship is one that is harmful. While some signs of a toxic relationship are more obvious—like physical abuse, repeated infidelity, and inappropriate sexual behaviour—others can be harder to detect. It may involve disrespectful, dishonest, or controlling behaviour. For example, Your partner cuts you down frequently. As a result, your mental health may begin to suffer. Your manager overburdens you with workload intentionally, stresses you out. In this post, we will guide you on how to easily get out of or leave your toxic relationship and lead a happy life ahead.
Toxic relationships can be linked with anyone. Whether it’s a relationship between a couple, one between family members, office colleagues, between friends. In fact, you know you will be surprised to know that toxic relationships not only exists for living being relationships but can also be considered for inanimate objects (non-living things). Now you will be surprised that how can it be actually possible? Let me brief you out.
Have you ever thought about how much time you are spending on social media platforms or with your phone? If you are thinking you are spending too much time with your phone it’s time to get out of the toxic relationship which you have with your phone. Now in this article, I am not going to describe all the steps related to how to get rid of phone addictions or digital detox because that will divert us from our topic.
Similarly, if you are completely addicted to reading articles, books and you get distracted by books it’s actually a toxic relationship that is diverting your goal and mindsets and it’s high time you need to figure this out and get out of this toxic relationship.
Now, let’s quickly discuss the most relevant 7 steps by following which you can easily get out and leave a toxic relationship.
Let me remind you it’s not going to be very easy stuff but neither won’t it be a very tough nut to crack. You just need a strong heart, high motivation and a confident mindset. This can easily happen when you will be able to figure out the below 7 points. These 7 points will completely change your mindset and if you follow them full heartily. I can bet that you will be a completely different person in the next 3 months.
Prioritize yourself / Know your worth
This is the biggest achievement and gift which you can give to yourself. Once you discover yourself and give yourself a priority you will be a completely different person. Always serve any dish to yourself first. This means always giving yourself priority whether it’s related to work, whether it’s related to time, whether it’s related to your goals – ALWAYS gives yourself an absolute priority.
Always remember if you will not prioritize yourself, how can you expect others to give you priority. It’s absolutely necessary to allocate “TIME” for yourself first. But yes, it’s also absolutely true that meanwhile adopting this strategy don’t be selfish. Be available for your close good friends, relatives, colleagues when they require you, be available for them when you know they are completely genuine and need you.
Allocating your time for someone should be treated as allocating a very precious matter. Once you keep this mindset you will be able to figure out many kinds of stuff properly. Now, you only answer this question – If you think that your each and every second is valuable will you prefer to stay with someone who has become a burden, stress or disturb you mentally or physically? The answer is very obvious – ABSOLUTELY NO.
So please know your worth. You are very worthy than you actually think. You might be in your teens or early 20’s and think you are not worthy enough because generally, this range of age people think this to be. But it’s absolutely NOT a correct thought. No matter whether you are a kid, whether you are in your teens, in your 20’s, 30’s or any age group. You are absolutely worthy. You just need to recognize yourself, know your worth. Once you realise this fact, stepping off from a toxic relationship will become a piece of cake for you.
Build a Habit
Formation of a good habit generally takes time. It usually takes 2-3 weeks time to form a new habit. So consider these 3 weeks very crucial for yourself.
If you are really frustrated and want to move out of a toxic relation try adopting this step as a priority. Actually, you should consider all these 7 steps as a priority but focus on this step.
Try to find out where your passion is. EACH and EVERYONE in this world has their own passion. If you don’t know what is your passion yet don’t worry. You just need to try different pieces of stuff. Keep trying different activities until and unless you find your passion. Once you find it I bet you will feel extremely satisfied and happy.
This exploration phase is an excellent phase in dealing with moving from a bad relationship. Once you find out your passion – it can be anything like painting, swimming, knitting, cooking, gardening, blogging and tons and tons of other stuff, you will need to make your passion a habit.
It actually becomes easy to get into a habit phase when you discover your passion. Build a habit of at least spending a couple of hours per day on your passion. This is especially for the phase when you want to get out and leave the toxic relationship.
Your mind needs attention somewhere else to get diverted from the current phase so during this duration try allocating a good amount of 3-5 hours per day towards your passion. Try this for at least 3-4 weeks and slowly when you will stabilise you can reduce this hour to 2-3 hours per day.
Be Busy / Get Indulged
As I have suggested in the earlier point “ Your mind needs attention somewhere else to get diverted from the current phase “. You always need to feed your mind and soul something positive to avoid and get away from something negative.
It is very tough especially during the initial days but trust me it’s worth it once you have achieved your goal 🙂 Try making a routine for yourself each day before going to sleep for the next day. Except for 6-8 hours of sleep make a tight schedule for yourself for the remaining hours of the day. Try to keep each and every hour packed with productive activities.
This will help your mind to be busy throughout the day hence, you will have very few thoughts about the person with whom you are in a toxic relationship. This is very essential. Try this step for just 2 weeks and then it will convert into a habit formation automatically without much effort.
During this tenure make sure to stay away from the stuff or the person with whom you want to detach yourself and get out from your toxic relationship. Be so busy that you don’t have time for all these negative or sad thoughts.
After all, it’s your life, your mental health, your soul, your time, your money, your body, your thoughts so why waste any of these things for or towards someone who has become such toxic and unhealthy for you.
If an infection happens in your finger it can be cured easily during the early stages but if you leave it as it is and does not bother, later on, it can turn into severe stuff which might take your hand off from your body. So, get out of this toxicity as soon as possible and during absolute early phases.
It’s very easy to follow these steps. The journey is tough but the steps are very simple and easy. You just need to follow them with full discipline and you will get out of your bad relationship very soon. I have trust in you.
Seek Professional Help
Leaving and recovering from a toxic relationship will take effort and time. Reach out to support groups or counsellors who are experienced in relationship issues.
This is a part in which you can enrol voluntarily. You can join meditation courses and Art Of Living courses as well. They are brilliant courses for mindfulness and a healthy soul.
A therapist or counsellor can be a great impartial resource to guide you and hold you accountable for creating and meeting your goals.
You can also consult a personal mental health counsellor/marriage counsellor/family counsellor according to your needs if you need counselling and want to learn better how to get or manage your toxic relationship.
It may also be useful to seek additional support from a professional to help work through a dysfunctional, harmful relationship pattern. Seeing a therapist, either as a couple or individually, who specialises in working with interpersonal issues can help you both find ways of working through any difficulties.
Get into fitness
Regularly exercising and following a fitness plan and routine can immensely help you to release stress, improve your thoughts and lighten your mood immensely.
Exercising reduces blood pressure and releases endorphins into the bloodstream which increases feelings of contentedness. Stress physiologist Nathaniel Thom stated, “exercise, even a single bout of it, can have a robust prophylactic effect” against the buildup of anger.
According to psychologist Kelly Wilson in her book “Things Might Go Terribly, Horribly Wrong,” hundreds of studies have demonstrated that exercise reduces stress, depression, anxiety that is the result of frustration by burning off excess energy and releasing powerful endorphins that can help in altering mood.
We are very busy in our daily life but taking out 30 minutes to exercise and involve in fitness activities is easily possible for everyone. Which is almost equal to just 2% of your time in a day. You should at least devote this time to your mental health.
Including daily exercise in your daily routine can actually keep your mind busy and help you to build a solid foundation in leaving and getting out from your toxic relationship.
Look at your past and note it down
It’s often said that we as human beings often miss and forget our thoughts, lessons and past incidents. For this reason, we should always maintain our daily regular journal which should have a few lines about our thoughts.
Consider your diary and journal as your soul mate. Because it’s just a replica of your feelings which you are writing on it.
If you are a person who has a habit of maintaining a diary or a journal on a daily basis I would suggest you go to your past days and mark the incidents which the toxic person / toxic relationship has caused you. I am pretty sure if you are a diary person you would have written this. Find out all those incidents and I would highly suggest you to highlight them and bookmark them.
Now, if you are not a dairy person take out time most preferably during the night. Because our environment is calm and quiet at night and you will have a good focus. Write all those points, incidents and scenarios which have affected you, made you sad, humiliated you due to your toxic relationship. I repeat write each and every point. It need not be in detail but small brief reminders. Highlight them and write them on sticky notes.
Now as I have mentioned earlier in this post that toxic relationships need not be mandatory for living beings. Consider this example for clarification. If you have used too many social media platforms and used your phone the whole day long it has already consumed ALOT of your time. You repeated this step and built a toxic relationship with your cell phone. Due to which you failed or scored less in your exams or might not be able to clear an entrance examination. So here you need to identify the toxic element.
And very clearly if a toxic relationship is with a person then you don’t need a second thought or calculation. Everything is in front of you.
Follow and consider the Stretch Rule
Take a rubber band and stretch it a bit (a little bit). Release it from one end. How did you feel? You might have felt a slight pinch.
Next time stretch it a bit more like a few extra cms than you did the previous time. Now release from one side. You would have felt a bit more pinch than before.
Now stretch it to as much as possible and then release it from one end. This time it hurts a lot. It might be possible the pinch-hit would leave a red mark on your skin.
The exact “Stretch Rule” appears for the toxic relationship as well. The more you stretch it, the more you will get stressed out. Waste your time, feel humiliated, feel bad, suffer, be in pain. It’s always better to figure out and leave a toxic relationship as soon as possible.
Nobody will die stepping out of a toxic relationship. Nobody dies due to someone else. It’s just a matter of habit. If you give yourself proper time and allot only 2-3 months to yourself you will easily step out of a toxic relationship.
Please do not try to make matter worse by stretching or being into a toxic relationship. The more you do the more time it will take for you to recover and get out of that shit.
I hope this article was useful to you. Remember, YOU ARE A CHAMPION. A KING / QUEEN who does not need someone else values to add value to your life especially if it is a negative value.
Try to figure out and step out of your toxic relationship as soon as possible. You can easily do it. We all trust you.
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